The girl under the tree

Tonight, as I sit alone with my thoughts, I miss you. The girl who was my best friend. Whom I laughed, wept and fought with. The girl whom I have known all my life. My true friend, my confidante. The source of my confidence. The person who took me to where I am today. Who never let me feel alone or depressed.

On my way to acquiring the material benefits of life, I think I lost you. I let you go. I found other “best friends”. You faded in the background. But you let me treat you like a doormat. Because you loved me. Because you wanted me to be happy more than I wanted it. You still do.

Intoxicated by the smells and the sounds around me I forgot you and your needs. I took to the bright lights as bees take to honey, leaving you standing in the dark.

The friends I made? Yes plenty. A majority of them moved on. To different places, to different bee hives. To be fair, I still do have some good friends. However, none of them could prevent me feeling alone today.

No one can make me feel as beautiful as you do. You make me feel as if I am a super human being. I know I am not, but the conviction in your eyes can convince anyone. I love your lavish praise, your appreciation, your forgiveness (always the first to make up when we fight) and your endless love. In anger, I have said nasty things to you. You never said anything back. You forgave and forgot, your greatest quality.

And I still find you smiling beatifically sitting under that tree I call home with the same love, the same warmth in your eyes.

You are my rock, my anchor. I am incomplete without you. If you knew how lonely I feel tonight, you would have moved heavens and earth to make things right again. Something that nobody else will do.

You are the only friend of mine who hasn’t changed. Who will never change. And I can’t thank you enough for that. You will always be my bestest, closest friend. I know I have never said it to you, but I would like to say it today.

I love you mom.