No, I won't do a recap of 2009

It's New Year's Eve and so I force myself to write something. Anything. As long as I write.

It's a few minutes to 2010. What do you think we are doing? Partying in a hip lounge at a place near the office? Partying with friends/family at home with a lavish spread of eats and lots of fairy lights? Sitting with P romantically bringing in the New Year? Cruising through the roads of "ye Delhi hai meri jaan"? Come on, take your pick. No?

Well, as much as we would like to bring in the new year in the ways mentioned above, none of them are happening right now. The "whys" of it deserve another post. For now, we are sitting in the hostel room. One roommate has retired for the night (or is she pretending to sleep? Very dubious. But why will she pretend to sleep? We hope she won't spring out of her bed at dot 12AM and scare us with a shriekyyy Happy New Year! On second thoughts, we might like that!), the other roommate is out. Where is she? Let us guess. Before leaving, she said she is finally going to say goodbye to ex-boyfriend who is still hanging onto her. What a day to do so, wethinks! But considering the fact that its nearing midnight and she is still not back (she has been gone a few hours now), we have our suspicions that she is gaily bringing in the new year with the dejected lover in one nightclub or the other. So what happens to the current flame? Maybe he decided to join the party.

Enough of the roomies now. Now we will only talk about ourselves. So what are we doing on New Year's eve? We are sitting alone with our sweetest, loyalest (is that a word? Heck! who cares?) friends--the laptop and the television, and P on the line--who is going to a friend's place. And we are feeling LONELY :(

But we will not mope. Nopes. Because we want to be happily bringing in the new year--with a crowd or alone. And of course everything is not all sad either. For starters, we are off tomorrow. Yay! Yay! Yay! Which makes us think of this scenario: You hate your boss. From-the-bottom-of-your-heart. The rich, high-class, snobbish, arrogant, irritable, freaky, rude, yelling-at-you-for-the-smallest-things, making-you-feel-like-a-village-idiot, (We can go on and on and on, but dear reader, for your sake, just for your sake, we will stop) kinda boss. So when the above-mentioned kinda boss gives you an off WITHOUT your asking them, how are we supposed to feel?
Sorry boss. We can't stop hating her. But yes, we are a little assured that she maybe (just a tinny, wee bit chance) a human after all!

Ok, ok enough of ranting now. We have ranted enough for the night. Now, we want to know what you guys are doing or did on New Year's eve. And don't worry, we will try our LEVEL-BEST not to get too jealous. HONEST!

Oh and by the way....Have a Good Year Everyone :)

100 Truths

1. Last beverage: Lukewarm milk with Bournvita (Lukewarm because I can’t for-the-life-of-me consume hot liquids and milk because my poor fractured foot needs all the calcium it can get, so milk {sob! sob!})
2. Last phone call: Confusion. Last phone call I made or received? Made—I didn’t make any phone call the entire day! Received—P telling me he has left office (finally!) for the day
3. Last text message: Replied to P's message telling me he has stopped to eat on the way back from office
4. Last song you listened to: Main zindagi ka saath nibhaata chaala gaya..lalalala…
5. Last time you cried: Oh just about a month back when my seemingly organized life was thrown out of gear when the doctors told me I had fractured my foot and put me on complete bed rest


HAVE YOU EVER
6. Dated someone twice? Twice bole tow? Broken off and dated again? Nai boss
7. Been cheated on? Hmm..Yes
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? Meaning smooch (errrr..sorry for using the word)? If yes, ok big confession. I am not into kissing (GULP!). There I said it! Give me hugs, cuddles any day..By the way, I am completely fine with cheek kissing (can it be called that?)
9. Lost someone special? Loved and lost…Yes
10. Been depressed? Every week. But it’s not those serious bouts of depression. Just minor everyday worries and troubles (why can’t life be simpler kinda. You get the drift? Yes?)
11. Been drunk and thrown up? Drunk? No boss, thank you…Thrown up? Mentally, yes plenty of times
12. Kissed a stranger? Well, even if I wasn’t so averse to kissing, I would NEVER kiss a stranger
13. Lost glasses/contacts? Lost? Don’t remember. But broken glasses? Yes, innumerably. The consequence for which was that Mom made me and big sis wear those specs with chains around them as kids. Bah! Total attitude ki waat lag gai thi
14. Had sex on first date? Woohoooo! Wait…Utna scene nai hai
15. Broken someone’s heart? Hmm…Maybe yes
16. Had your own heart broken? Countless times..Which strikes me, maybe my heart also needs calcium (sigh!)
17. Been arrested? No
18. Turned someone down? As in a proposal right? Yes
19. Cried when someone died? Yes
20. Liked a friend that is a girl? No boss no..

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU
21. Made new friends? Yeah..you can say so
22. Fallen out of love? I keep falling in and out of love
23. Laughed until you cried? Yes
24. Met someone who changed you? Errrr… No! (Is that answer acceptable?)
25. Found out who your true friends were? Actually I always knew…This year only made it clearer
26. Found out someone was talking about you? Yeah. Gossip about me and P full on happening in office. Initially annoying, now extremely annoying (Grrrrrr…)

WHAT’S YOUR
27. Name: What’s in a name? (Ok, I am gagging)
28. Nicknames: Plenty (BIG GRIN)
29. Relationship status: Want to get married and have my own house (sigh!) soon
30. Zodiac sign: Pisces
31. Male or female or transgendered: Female baba! Thank you very much (Humph!)
32. Elementary: U.P.
33. School: U.P.
34. Colleges: U.P. and Orissa
35. Hair color: Brown
36. Long or short: On way to long (Please God please…make it grow faster)
37. Height: Tall (PROUD SMILE)

FIRSTS
38. First surgery: 2008: Wisdom tooth extraction in right jaw. 2009, The Sequel (in pre-production): Wisdom tooth extraction in left jaw (Why God why, do you give me wisdom only to take it away? Unfair…SULK!)
39. First piercing: Ears
40. First best friend: My childhood chuddie buddie S
41. First sport you loved: Gali cricket. Please note “gali”, not “gully” (which I anyways don’t know the meaning of), where gali means street cricket.
42. First pet: None
43. First vacation: Goa. With family (WOW! Those days..)
44. First concert: Ok. This was also my FIRST reporting assignment. Some very famous classical singer guy. Can’t remember the name (Useless me!)

RIGHT NOW
45. Eating: Nothing. Wisdom teeth hurting. Ouch!
46. Drinking: Nothing
47. I’m about to: Hopefully sleep
48. Listening to: The clock tick away in the silence of the night
49. Waiting for: Finishing this. 51 more to go!!

YOUR FUTURE
50. Want kids? YES, YES, YES
51. Want to get married? YES, YES, YES, YES
52. Careers in mind? Film director, writer, actor. Creative? Will do

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
53. Lips or eyes: Eyes baby eyes!
54. Hugs or kisses: Hugs, of course (reason stated above)
55. Shorter or taller: Taller
56. Older or younger: Older
57. Romantic or spontaneous: A bit of both. Possible? Yes?
58. Nice stomach or nice arms: Whoa! Both
59. Sensitive or loud: Neither too sensitive nor too loud
60. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship
61. Trouble maker or hesitant: In moderation, can it be both (Please?)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
62. Yourself: I try to
63. Miracles: Yes, big-time
64. Love at first sight: Ummm….No
65. Heaven: Yes…The next adventure after death
66. Santa Claus: Yes and No
67. Kiss on the first date: Errrr…depends
68. Angels: Totally!

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS
69. Pink
70. Blue
71. White
72. Errrr…Can I say dark blue (can’t think of any other color really)
73. Have you kissed anyone on your friends list? Which friends’ list? Orkut/Facebook?
74. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life? Almost all
75. How many kids do you want to have? One (Girl please!)
76. Do you have any pets? No
77. Do you want to change your name? No, never
78. What did you do for your last birthday? I took off from work (YAY!) and saw Delhi 6 in an almost empty hall
79. What time did you wake up today? 10 am (very grumpy)
80. What were you doing at midnight last night? Reading a blog
81. Name something you CANNOT wait for. To leave office everyday (sigh! I need to get a life)
82. Last time you saw your father? Well, only yesterday I looked at his pic. Technically, I saw him last time when I was a toddler, so don’t remember anything. But I know he is watching me everyday from up there. Love you Pa!
83. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? Not life but me. My impatience and bad temper.
84. Most visited webpage: Google
85. Do you have a crush on someone? Naah
86. Ever been in love? Yes
87. Piercings? Err....Repeat question?
88. Tattoos? None. Wish for a delicate little rose though (Did you say where? I am not telling guys)
89. Righty or lefty: I am always right(y)!
90. On Internet since: Technically, 2003. But actually, 2006.
91. Video game: Don’t play any
92. When left alone: I think and think and think and get depressed

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
93. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes. Pa
94. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? No boss…
95. Wanted to kill some one ever? Always. You can always find a hit-list in my cerebrum
96. Among your blog mates, who would you like to kiss? Eeeeks…None. Thank you very much (And seriously, will these “kissing” questions ever stop?)
97. Committed a blunder and regretted later? All the frigging time
98. Wanted to steal you friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend? Haha Never. They were way too sad anyways
99. Wanted to run away from your loved ones in anger, because they didn’t listen? All the frigging time
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? Ab itni mehnat ki hai, tow bhai why not? Sure…

Pati, Patni aur Woh

There are only a few reality shows on Indian television that I watch currently. One that had me hooked from Day 1 was Pati, Patni aur Woh. Now that the show has drawn to a close, here's my take on the five participating couples:



Juhi and Sachin: By far, Juhi was my favourite in the show. She did no work around the house, slept all day, cribbed and nagged her husband, who listened dutifully and never answered back. Whether it was the toddler or the senior citizen that came to their house, it was Sachin’s show all the way. Even when Juhi had to go out and work at a departmental store, she did a pathetic job. The best part of the show was when she bulldozed her husband into walking out of the show because they had been given twins and she wanted Sachin at her service all day—which the channel was not allowing. Poor Sachin! What a woman he has married. He was calm, patient, balanced and mature and kept a cool head against Juhi’s incessant nagging.

Thumbs Up: One thing that works in Sachin’s favour is that he genuinely loves his wife. He sure is the “ideal” husband.



Mouni and Gaurav: The fake and cold couple. Mouni and Gaurav from Day 1 seemed to be in the show only for money—and it showed. No initiative, no interest was shown by either of them to bond with any of the kids. They just wanted the show to finish and walk away with their pay packets. Mouni only showed a little interest in the toddler Shaurya—and the credit for that too goes to the baby. He was so charming that no one could resist falling in love with him. The rest of the kids just came and went, and Mouni kept doing her own stuff. As far as Gaurav is concerned, he only seems to have a gift of the gab, nothing else. There was hardly any interaction between the couple and the kids. Pathetic! Me thinks maybe, if Gaurav had participated with his ex-flame Narayani Shastri, they would have fared much better and made a fiery couple. Gaurav and Mouni won't last long.

Thumbs Up: All said and sone, they do make a very good-looking couple.



Shilpa and Apoorva: The ideal couple. Sure, they provided no masala, no spice to the show, but they sure came across as one level-headed, in sync and mature jodi. Their understanding and dedication shone through. They were the only jodi which never fought or abused each other. A complete made-for each-other pair. Where Apoorva seemed a tad underconfident, Shilpa went all out to encourage. Needless to say, the star in this jodi was Shipa, who handled husband, kids, home single-handedly and excelled. Apoorva also proved to be one hell of a partner. Not to forget, the two never raised their hands in defeat during the time they had to handle twin babies—unlike Juhi.

Thumbs Up: Way to go! Now this is what I call A Perfect Couple.



Gurmeet and Debina: The “Ram and Sita of Indian television” was how they were introduced in the show. Admittedly, I had never seen them before. Both make a street-smart couple. Where Gurmeet was shown haggling with every shopkeeper (he even bargained with a gajra-walla), Debina refused to buy the teenager any clothes (the poor girl lost all her luggage in transit). So, while the poor kid kept shedding tears, Debina insisted she dress up in Guru's oversized T-shirts. And when the same kid complained about their dirty house, they handed her the vacuum cleaner! Preposterous. Overall though, methinks they did an OK job with the kids.

Thumbs Up: Gurmeet proposed Debina on the show and they are all set to get married.



Rakhi and Elesh: The surprise package. Rakhi and Elesh from Day 1 surprised everyone with their dedication and love for the kids. The so-called “item girl” proved to be an awesome home-maker and mother. The way she took care of the cranky toddler, Jai, was phenomenal. She looked after the kids extremely well, managed her home splendidly and even went out to work! And giving her full support was Elesh, who never left her side even when she got cranky, and proved to be great partner. They pulled off the pyjama party for the kids with great élan. The only other couple who would have managed the feat were Shilpa and Apoorva. Juhi, for sure, would have again walked out of the show. Unfortutanely, Rakhi seems to expect a lot from a life partner and understandably so, Elesh couldn’t measure up. Methinks, Elesh would make a great partner and Rakhi would be foolish to let him go.

Thumbs Up: Here’s to Superwoman Rakhi and her accomplice Elesh.

My 54 New Year Resolutions*

1. To lose weight (and to find ways to do so without joining a gym)
2. To join a driving school
3. To buy a car
4. To not let my work/office/colleagues take over my entire life
5. To find a new job with BETTER work timings
6. To buy new, trendy clothes
7. To take utmost, utmost, utmost care of my twice-fractured foot. To eat calcium
8. To start writing and reading more—write, write, write
9. To control my explosive temper
10. To not let stress of any kind (work, relationships, family, mundane) control me for any period of time
11. To not compare myself or my assets, or the lack of them, with past/present contemporaries
12. To make new friends
13. To not do things against my wishes just to please others
14. To spend wisely
15. To save judiciously
16. To call friends/relatives at least once a month
17. To spend more time with mom
18. To construct a life outside office
19. To get out of this self-imposed exile and mingle with people
20. To be sincere, not serious
21. To laugh more
22. To remain happy
23. To not be too harsh on myself
24. To try contact lenses
25. To buy more beauty products/cosmetics
26. To take breaks at work and spend some time with myself—even if 5 minutes
27. To learn to be a smart worker
28. To not let colleagues/others make me feel inferior
29. To not expect too much from people
30. To be my old self—giving, generous, patient, calm
31. To not let small things irk me into flying off the handle
32. To grow my hair longer
33. To buy sexy lingerie and nightwear…Yo :)
34. To be a better daughter and human being
35. To include saris in my wardrobe
36. To buy mom more saris and gold
37. To go to church at least once a month
38. To not feel superior of others because I earn more or speak better English
39. To maintain a healthy lifestyle irrespective of my work timings (reiterate resolution no. 5)
40. To not get into arguments with autorickshaw wallas (till resolution no. 3 takes shape)
41. To not take work/office/colleagues so seriously as to allow them to rule my life
42. To take people gossiping about me in my stride
43. To travel to new places
44. To have fun
45. To do something worthwhile with my camera
46. To take control of my finances and paperwork
47. To slowly but steadily get back to sketching
48. To restart my guitar lessons
49. To increase the contents of my jewellery box
50. To consume less junk food
51. To give more, take less
52. To not let the pressures of big-city living get the worse of me
53. To bring out that child in me once again
54. To remember these resolutions

These are my resolutions for the coming year. What are yours?

* This list is not exhaustive. There may be more coming.

Repose en paix YSR

Repose en paix YSR

Women....!

I was standing in the queue waiting for my turn at a Shoppers' Stop billing counter, clucking impatiently at the time ladies ahead of me in the queue were taking. I couldn't help saying to myself, "Women...! Why do they take so much time? They will open their handbags, take out their wallets, pay money, keep it in the handbag, zip the wallet, keep it inside the handbag, zip the handbag....and God forbid, if they forget something, the whole process starts all over again. Women....!!!"

Whenever a queue adjacent to where I was standing seemed to progress faster than mine (which always, always happens..!), I jumped to join that one (it just struck me, I can join Indian politics too).

Finally when after an eternity, my turn came this is what happened:


The guy at the counter (cute chinky guy): Yes ma'am?

Me (priding myself on the fact that how smooth his dealing will be with me unlike all those kinds of ladies I have described above): Ya. Could you please bill these for me?

Him: Sure ma'am. Do you have a membership card?

Me: Yeah (handing him my sister's Shoppers' Stop card, as I didn't have one, and the parking ticket for 'No parking fee')

Him: Thank you ma'am. Would you like to pay with cash or card?

Me: Card. By the way, if I also wish to have my own membership card, what's the procedure?

Him: You just have to give us your name and contact details and a charge of Rs200.

Me: Sure, I would like to get one made.

Him: Sure ma'am. Here is the form.

Me (trying to balance my wallet that I have taken out of my handbag, which is still unzipped): Sure, I will fill it.

Him (taking the filled form from me and handing me the reciept and the 'no parking fee' reciept): There you go ma'am.

Me (now struggling visibly trying to sign the reciept, putting in my handbag the parking reciept, but not the wallet): Thanks. You haven't returned me my debit card.

Him: Yes ma'am. Here it is and here is your complimentary gift (handing me my new membership card and two booklets on Shoppers Stop and a free music CD)

Me (clutching all the stuff in both my hands with no idea what goes where in my handbag): But you haven't returned me the first membership card that I gave you.

Him: Oh! Yes ma'am, sorry. Here it is...!

Me (putting the debit card, the new SS card in my wallet, closing the wallet, putting it in my handbag, putting the shopping reciept, the other SS card, the parking reciept, the CD and the 2 booklets in my handbag and zipping it): Thanks.

Him: Here's your buy.

Me (now balancing the phone and my extra-heavy handbag): Thanks.

I turned back to meet the hostile stares of the people behind me in the queue. I smile apologetically. The person behind me in the queue (with a disrespectful "finally"), moves to take my place. As I slowly start to worm my way out of the queue, the guy at the counter calls me again.

Him: Excuse me ma'am. Just a second.

Me (going back up to him rearranging the shopping bag, my handbag and my phone between my shoulders and hands): Yeah?

Him: Have I given you the parking reciept?

Random

My elder sister is getting married. I am happy. And with all this talk of marriage going around me, I am compelled to think about my marriage too. People around me are already going ballistic saying things like "Ab tera raasta tow saaf ho gaya" making me freak. However, I don't see myself getting married for the next 2 years at least. Why? I don't know. I still need some answers. What do I tell these people who are overeager to push me down the aisle? I buy myself more time with my favourite defence, "I am far too immature for marriage". It remains to be seen how much time I will be able to buy with this one.

Moving on, I have been wanting to venture into feature reporting for some time now. But I also believe that everything will happen in its own time.

The swine flu panic is slowly getting to me now.

The most surprising bit of news today? I got to know that my roommate, who came just 7 days back, is a SENIOR FORENSIC SCIENTIST! Whoa. My respect for her today shot up.

And last but not the least, this is for my guardian angel. I am indebted to you. Forever.

P.S.: In case you are wondering about the deteriorating quality of my blogging skills, you can blame it on Twitter :)

This blog has no headline

Is Twittering better than writing long blogs? No clue. Am using both and enjoy them equally. However, this blog isn't about which-is-better.

I have been feeling quite insecure these days. I don't know if I am needlessely going into the "overthinking" mode as P calls it (I sincerely hope he is right), but I am quite perplexed. Anyways, guess I have no other option but to take things as they come---one day at a time.

I don't believe this but I am watching a film right now called Love love love starring Aamir and Juhi. Wow!! They are dancing to a song called "Disco dandiya' and looking absolutely adorable. Ahh those old days. Fashion disasters these actors used to be really!! Aamir is wearing a green T-shirt underneath a white blazer with white trousers----with lots of talcum powder on his face and red lipstick. Juhi is donning a magenta ghagra choli, a blue dupatta, white hair band and again lots of talcum powder and lipstick--somehow making her look more hideous.

Am quite hooked to Sach ka saamna these days on Star Plus. The hurried editing of the Vinod Kambli's episode howled loudly in the audiences' face. Gone were the questions on Sachin and BCCI. Huh!!! Wonder why the show is called Sach ka saamna after all. Ironical! The next guest on the show is TV actress Urvashi Dholakia. Who I believe became an unwed mother at 18. Whoa! Can't wait to see what all spills out in this episode.

However, the show that tops my list of mindless entertainment is of course Rakhi ka swamyavar hands down! What a total entertainer that girl is. Just love her. Way to go girl. If you watched today's episode where she puts a guy called Manmohan Tiwari from Rishikesh (one of the 4 finalists) in his place, I think you will agree with me. Madame Sawant reminded me of Amitabh in Deewar when she told the hapless guy (he was only looking for publicity through Sawant, unsurprisingly), "Mere paas name hai, fame hai, money hai, beauty hai". Awesome. :)

Also sample this,"Pehle tow aapki mummy kehti thi mujhse masala kutwaayegi, pallu karna hoga, aur aaj kehti hai masala nai kutwaayegi. Aisa kyun? Itna change kyun aa gaya?"

Manmohan ki mummy, masala kutwaa lo Rakhi se please.

The best part was when Rakhi got up, shook hands with the guy (he was totally defeated by Rakhi's logic, had nothing to say, dont blame him!) and walked away blowing her hair. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Can't wait to see who Madame marries (will she, won't she?).

Hey, tomorrow is the total solar eclipse. Will our lives change for the next three years (that's the maximum time it is supposed to affect a zodiac sign, according to astrological predictions) because of it? Beats me.

Guess need to do what I started this blog with---take one day at a time.

Why does India take marriage so seriously?

I have a steady boyfriend (he doesn't like being called a boyfriend by the way, prefers soulmate, partner etc.) for more than two years. Though we practise different religions, it has so far never bothered us. Given a choice I would like to settle in matrimony with him.

However, the truth is that when the two families eventually meet I doubt they will get along. They are as radically different as chalk and cheese. Friction will surface. And I am scared that it may take a toll on my relationship. That's the reason I am pushing marriage away, buying more time.

P and I have been in love long enough to realise that we want to grow old together. However, what's also true is that it will be extremely difficult for us to adjust with each other's families. More so for me because let's face the truth: expectations are sky-high from women. It would be near-impossible for me to keep everyone happy.

I really don't know what P and I will do if the two families fail to see eye-to-eye with each other, which I somehow expect to happen (women intuition and all that).

All this makes me wonder why we in India take marriage so seriously? Why can't we be more open-minded? Why do two families have to treat the subject as if it's a life-and-death situation?

If two people are in love and want to spend their lives together, why does the whole world converge on them with their respective likes and dislikes? Isn't it true that ultimately it's these two people who have to stay together?

I totally agree with the Western world's take on marriage. Life is very short, spend it with the person you love and who makes you happy. There is absolutely no interference from any of the two families. Of course, I have my reservations about getting married every two years, which I don't agree with. But frankly speaking, if our society allowed us the same space who wouldn't do the same? After all, only a few handful in this world are lucky enough to find their soulmates the first time they fall in love.

I hope in the future we get a little more easy with the subject and stop treating it as a national emergency.

I would be glad to hear from those of you who are going through or have been through such a phase in your lives...SOS

Watch this to destress

Chanced upon this....thought to spread some laughter and cheer :) Enjoy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTs9gZr64No&eurl=http://www.orkut.co.in/FavoriteVideos.aspx%3Frl%3Dls%26uid%3D16594929321899691126&feature=player_embedded

The village beckons its idiot

My village, my place. Yes the idiot is back...

Been just a short while since I last came home, but it already seems like an eternity. Maybe because this time I have come on a long leave.

While going for long evening walks with my mom (yes, huffing and puffing trying to lose a few kilos), my mind automatically rewinds to a few years back when me and mom used to scale the same roads. At that time, I didn't need to lose weight at all. I just went with mom to give her company on her walks.

The tables have turned now. Now she gives me company. Such is life :)

Surprisingly, my village hasn't changed at all in the years that I have been away. Of course, more hoardings have sprung up offering "coaching" to kids in "maths, physics, chemistry" and the likes, but the essence, the pace of life and the soul is intact.

However, what strikes me now is that I don't seem to fit here. Though I belong to this place, I have clearly come a long way. My thinking, horizons and attitude have changed. They don't fit here anymore.

Does that mean I consider myself a big-city girl now? No. I do not. My small-town upbringing and values are a bit different from those of the big-city kids. I can't easily mingle with the high-fi people here. I find myself a misfit here too.

When the know-it-alls talk music (hard rock, soft rock, jazz, eminem blah blah) or films (always Hollywood) or anything under the sun, I just listen. I have nothing intelligent to add. I am neither witty, nor can I hold their kind of intelligent conversations. I get bored.

I don't know much about different cuisines (Mexican, Italian, Spanish etc etc) either. I just look for an item in the menu that sounds or reads something like dal-chawal. In plain words, I am "not happening" by big-city standards.

This village idiot neither fits in here, nor there.

So where do I belong? I am clueless.

Any answers?

Cities I have been to

Kanpur: It’s my nani’s birthplace. We went to her sister’s (my doosri nani’s) place. Will always remember how my doosri nani, my mausi and maamas took care of us and took us sighseeing. Can’t forget their house too. An old, ancient, palatial kothi in which all rooms were interconnected. Found it a great place to play hide-and-seek at that time. J

*Not so good: The train journey to Kanpur. Mid-way the northern grid failed bringing the train to a grinding halt in the middle of nowhere for more than 8 hours. At that time there were no mobile phones also. With nothing left to eat, we had to be content looking at a lady in our compartment feeding her young grandson mango after mango. Sheer torture!!

Dhenkanal: I doubt anyone would have heard of this place, It’s a small hilly town in Orissa, I spent few months here pursuing my course and still can’t get the calm, peace and the memories out of my mind. My beautiful college campus, the science centre, the numerous trips we undertook into the interiors of the state, the different style of living, eating, language and the first experience of living away from home still haunt me. My first love and my first heartbreak too happened here. Painful no doubt, but something that I don’t regret.

*Not so good: While walking back one night at around 8:30 with a friend, a few teenage boys started cycling around us on a deserted patch. They stopped a few steps ahead of us and then one of them came near me, groped me and ran. It left me shaken. Later, I learned it had happened with other girls in my hostel too. Scary. The place didn’t seem like a paradise anymore.

Bangalore: A day-long trip undertaken at the insistence of a very dear friend. The first thing that struck me about the city was the mindblowing weather. It was cloudy and cool all day!!

*Not so good: Since I was there for just a day, couldn’t go sightseeing at all L

Singapore: The smallish city state. This was an office-sponsored trip. It was the first time I travelled outside the country alone and totally loved the grown-up feel it gave me. The people there live in houses that will qualify to be called “dollhouses” by Indian standards. A country that pays its citizens to have kids. What else does one want? Also got a free ride on the Singapore flyer. Changi airport was awesome.

*Not so good: The back-breaking schedule. We left the hotel at 9 in the morning and returned at 10 in the night. No recreation, no sight seeing. Those bouts of extreme loneliness and homesickness in the hotel room. Not to mention, the food sucked. I was glad to be returning home.

London: Ahhh a fascinating city. Nothing magical about it for sure. But there is a certain charm in its mixed population, crowded tubes, the grime, dark underbelly and the mystery shrouding it. Maybe the only city in the world which doesn’t make one feel they are in a foreign land. There’s someone walking along the pavements from every country here. Buckingham Palace, Madame Tussads, Tower of London, the bus rides, Thames........Definitely a city I would like to work in if I get the chance.

*Not so good: Can’t remember anything.

Paris: A whirlwind tour. Most remembered? Of course the Eiffel Tower. Also the architecture and the so-obvious leaning of the city towards art. A magical place. The travel company arranged for all of us to visit a nightclub. Dressed up as best as we could we landed up there. To know what happened, read below.

*Not so good: I watched the first and the only striptease show of my life. First the ladies came and danced in barely transparent shirts, then their bras and finally whooper!!!!!! You get the drift? It was horrible. And for a child of 15, acutely embarrassing. The dancers were all fantastic though. Great guts!!

New Delhi: One of my all-time favourite cities. I love this city from the point of view of a tourist. It’s rich history, the grandeur, roads, its political hub, autorickshaws, India Gate, numerous family trips etc. etc. It is also the current place of residence.

*Not so good: My encounter with road rage and the insensitive people here. While that guy misbehaved with me and my sister in broad daylight, what did Delhiites do? Casually drove past. Not one of them had the decency to come to our rescue. Even a police van passed us and didn’t turn around, another shocker.

Goa: If I remember correctly, my first trip with family. And without a doubt, the most memorable and cherished one. The sea beaches, first experience of staying in a hotel, collecting sea shells and having the time of my life.

*Not so good: The Mandal Commission protests of 1990 which closed roads, highways, transportational services, government services and schools. The protests started a day before we were set to return. Our train got cancelled, we spent the night on the railway station and even hitched a ride in a truck. A long and tough journey back home.

Rishikesh: Another family trip. Waded in the Ganga for the first time in my life. The drive along the winding roads and the wild adventure was a lovely experience.

*Not so good: After landing at around 12 in the night, we didn’t find any hotel or lodge till 4 in the night. Though that was a good experience too, it got a bit uncomfortable when we had to pee on footpaths. When we finally found a friend’s empty 2BHK apartment to sleep in, I had to be content with my bed, which was made by joining dining chairs together.

Dehradun and Mussorie: A family trip. Had a blast. Rain, long walks in the mountains, eating on the footpath, the elusive Company Garden, the chill in the air, we cousins bonding, the total fun. I remember it all so vividly.

*Not so good: The taxi driver that we hired kept winking at the girls all the way. And we couldn’t gather the guts to complain to our elders L

Hyderabad: A city very close to my heart. I spent little more than an year here and by the time I left it, I had fallen in love with it deeply. I still reminisce about Hussainsagar Lake, Hyderabad Central, Imax, Clocktower, Eat Street, St Mary’s Church, Charminar, the biryani, my hostel and my favourite eating places. The list is endless. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that I found my bearing in this city. My first job, love, friends, financial independence...this city gave me all.

*Not so good: A man in a helmet walking towards me on a deserted patch with unzipped trousers, his member erect and hanging out, on Necklace Road. I ran as fast as I could!

This list isn't exhaustive.

An unsent letter

Pa, you left us a long time back. If there were no photographs of you, I doubt if I would have even known what you had looked like. You know how sometimes I have questioned God for taking you away so quickly. For depriving me of having "my time" with you.

However, I understand Pa that you had to go. There must have been some reason to it, some logic that God called you. After all, He too needs angels up there with Him to help Him in His work. And I know you are His most favourite, most reliable, best loved lieutenant.

I also know that it's because of your closeness with God and His affection for you that we have also become His favourite kids. After all we are His best child's kids. You have been putting in kind words about us to Him. I know everything Pa.

I also know that you always poke the big man in the ribs and constantly remind Him to look after us and protect us. I know Pa because I have felt you around me. When I am travelling alone at night and feel scared, I think of you and I don't feel scared anymore. I feel your presence enveloping me in your care and love. When I am tensed, I speak to you and somehow know that you are going to take care of everything.

I talk to you daily. And you always answer your little kid. Not in words but in miracles. Thank you Pa for always answering me.

One day, we shall meet Pa. And when that time comes near, please apply for a long leave. Because after I come up there, I am not going to let you go to work. I am going to treasure you. My eyes, hands, heart and soul have hungered for you. I have hungered for your touch, your feel and your voice. My soul has hungered for you.

I remember how once I chanced upon a letter that you had written to mom. I ran my fingers over the inked words that you had penned, amazed at holding the same piece of parchment that you must have once touched. As I sat clutching that letter to my heart refusing to let go of it, I lost all sense of time. I felt as if I had touched you that day.

It's been 21 years Pa. 21 long years. I don't know how many more years it will take till I meet you. I just know one thing---I love you. You are the best father ever.

Thank you Pa.

Happy father's day.

Loads of love

Your little kid

तुम्हारे लिए

जब बारिश की पहली बूंदों से

मिटटी से खुशबू आती है

मुझे तुम्हारी याद आती है

जब ठंडी हवा उड़ती हुएं

मेरे कानो में कुछ बुदबुदा जाती है

मुझे तुम्हारी याद आती है

जब इस दुनिया की भीड़ में

ख़ुद को तनहा पाती हूँ

मुझे तुम्हारी याद आती है

जब झगड़ कर गुस्से से

फ़ोन मैं रख देती हूँ

मुझे तुम्हारी याद आती है

जब रात को इन आंखों से

नींद दूर भागती है

मुझे तुम्हारी याद आती है

जब ख़ुद को ख़ुद से

खफा पाती हूँ

मुझे तुम्हारी याद आती है

जब एक बच्चे की हस्सी से

चहरे पे मुस्कान आती है

मुझे तुम्हारी याद आती है

This is for him. My best friend, my confidante, my soulmate, my love.

Friends of my loneliness

Tears are beautiful. Some days like today, I marvel at God’s work of wonder. He created tears because he knew He can’t be everywhere.

I didn’t think this way before. I was one of those people who hated tears. However lately, I have become friends with them. They visit me often. Most of the times, I try all my might to not let them in. I fight back, I lock all doors and windows. I close every opening. But suddenly, when I am sitting secure in the knowledge that they can’t reach me, they descend over me.

Then there is no escape. Wrapping me in their all-enveloping arms, they hold me, caress me, listen to me and calm me down. As my body is engulfed in those wracking sobs, they cleanse me from the inside. They speak to my soul and make me whole again.

They chat with me. They ask me to put in their well my pain. To get rid of it, to let it flow into their hands. But they charge no fee. They give me peace and sleep and take back nothing. How can I hate tears?

It’s strange how they locate souls like me though. In this din, with people singing and dancing and partying all around us, they know exactly which doors to knock. Even though no one invites them, they know our addresses.

And when they kiss my soul and eyes goodbye, I feel glad they came. They leave behind memories. Painful memories. Memories that help us in the future course.

I foresee a long association.

I am glad we became friends.

Thanks for being there............................always.

The girl under the tree

Tonight, as I sit alone with my thoughts, I miss you. The girl who was my best friend. Whom I laughed, wept and fought with. The girl whom I have known all my life. My true friend, my confidante. The source of my confidence. The person who took me to where I am today. Who never let me feel alone or depressed.

On my way to acquiring the material benefits of life, I think I lost you. I let you go. I found other “best friends”. You faded in the background. But you let me treat you like a doormat. Because you loved me. Because you wanted me to be happy more than I wanted it. You still do.

Intoxicated by the smells and the sounds around me I forgot you and your needs. I took to the bright lights as bees take to honey, leaving you standing in the dark.

The friends I made? Yes plenty. A majority of them moved on. To different places, to different bee hives. To be fair, I still do have some good friends. However, none of them could prevent me feeling alone today.

No one can make me feel as beautiful as you do. You make me feel as if I am a super human being. I know I am not, but the conviction in your eyes can convince anyone. I love your lavish praise, your appreciation, your forgiveness (always the first to make up when we fight) and your endless love. In anger, I have said nasty things to you. You never said anything back. You forgave and forgot, your greatest quality.

And I still find you smiling beatifically sitting under that tree I call home with the same love, the same warmth in your eyes.

You are my rock, my anchor. I am incomplete without you. If you knew how lonely I feel tonight, you would have moved heavens and earth to make things right again. Something that nobody else will do.

You are the only friend of mine who hasn’t changed. Who will never change. And I can’t thank you enough for that. You will always be my bestest, closest friend. I know I have never said it to you, but I would like to say it today.

I love you mom.

Let's party? Naah!!!!

I don't drink, I don't dance... I guess am not a party person.

Today, we had the office party. Having somehow failed to squeeze myself out of this committment (I couldn't because it is believed that attendance at such parties is directly proportional to your loyalty to the company), I ended up going.

The party, the atmospehere, the people, the music was everything what my books have been talking about all these years. Scenes that I am vaguely familiar with thanks to my books, but never wished to be a part of.

The party venue was an uptown, swanky restaurant cum bar. Lots of liquid and music flowing all around. As people around me let their hair down and flowed with the moment, I sat primly in a corner dying to get home.

As girls wearing sexy, halter necks and guys gyrated rythmically with the music, I found myself pining for my room, my bed, my pillow, my privacy. I sat, dreading the moments when people saunter off the dance floor and look for targets to drag on to the dance floor. When such creatures charged towards me, I am proud to say I managed to fend them off. I don't dance because I don't want to. It's just that I don't know how to. Why can't people understand that?

Whatever these people may think of me (boring, non-happening girl etc., etc.), I know one thing, it's not them who need to return back home at 12 in the night alone in a cab in a place like Delhi.

Yes, I am scared. I am not ashamed of admitting it. I don't have a chauffer-driven car at my disposal. So I have to worry.

Actually even if I had one, I doubt I would have enjoyed. Which brings me to my first sentence. I am not a party person at all. I just so love the warmth,
quiet, comfort of my place. However, cheers to all those who party as if there is no tomorrow. Who talk the talk and walk the walk.

But, I am so not jealous.

P.S.-This is my first outpouring of emotions on my new friend, my laptop. Here's to you lappie....ours gonna me a turbulent, love-hate explosive relationship. 'Coz you're always gonna be on the recieving end of my happiness, love, anger, frustation and sadness. Welcome.

The autorickshaw wala

7th May. And I had to be in office. For non-Delhites (for the want of any other better term), it was the day Delhi went to polls. Surprisingly, I got an auto without any trouble.

As I took out my apple and blissfully bit into it, relaxing to enjoy the half-hour drive (yeah, however bumpy and uncomfortable it may be, that’s the only time in the whole day when I am mentally relaxed), the autorickshaw driver, a young boy of merely 18 or 19 years of age, asked me, “Didi, aap vote daal ke aaye?” Sheepishly, I lied, “Nahi, baad me jaongi.” (I am not eligible to vote in Delhi). He said, clearly very excited, “Main toh daal ke aa gaya abhi abhi”.

Now, its an unwritten rule in my book not to get into free-wheeling chats with autorickshaw drivers, shopkeepers and the likes (no offence, but that’s how I am). But somehow, curious as I am, I asked him, “Kisko vote kiya?” He replied, “Congress ko”. (Aam aadmi ka haath, Congress ke saath?, I thought).

After sometime, he asked me, “Didi NCR ka full form kya hota hai?” I must admit, I was suitably impressed. Providing him the answer, I thought that out of his clan, here is one who actually desires to come out of the rut. Maybe, it’s his young age and with time he will also lose this jest and settle in the rut (as happens to most of us), but I sincerely hope otherwise.

Not only did the chap succeed in making me feel small (I who didn’t take the initiative to catch a train to my hometown and vote), he also provided me a free peep into Delhi ki janta’s mind. Seems Congress is the popular choice.
On the way, there is a famous Sai Baba temple. And 7th May was a Thursday. For the uninitiated, Thursday is celebrated as Sai Baba’s day.

Every Thursday on way to office, I am used to seeing endless queues outside the temple. However, on election day (when there is a general paucity of transport, unless of course you have your own), I was surprised to see that the queues were longer than any I have ever seen! (and the the major chunk of devotees don’t belong to the strata of society to have their own transport).

Snaking round the corners of the temple, going as far as the eye could see and beyond, it seemed that the elections had no effect whatsoever on these people. Incredible. I just hope they prayed for a good government besides their other desires (I know I hope too much).

Election results will be out day after tomorrow. While various exit polls predict an upper hand for Congress, I believe Indian politics is like Indian cricket. Unpredictable and erratic. The government of my choice? Let’s just say I have a soft spot for Mr Rahul Gandhi :)

An apple a day keeps the doc away

Having an apple everyday enroute to office has become a daily routine now. There was a time she couldn't stand apples. In her book, it was one of the most tasteless fruits.

Now, living out of home, it feels like the only worthwhile food intake at the end of a day. On way to office, there are numerous traffic signals. As soon as the autorickshaw screeches to a stop at these, hordes of faces and hands peer in—selling flowers, tissue boxes, incense sticks etc.

Lost in her thoughts, she waits impatiently for the light to turn green, chewing the apple absentmindedly, paying no attention to the buy-this, buy-that pleas. Today, too, the autorickshaw stopped but unlike other days, a little hand ventured inside the autorickshaw nervously.

The hand was grubby and dirty but tough. The face to which it belonged wasn't at all like the hand. The face was soft. The eyes were hungry, transfixed by the half-eaten apple in her hand. Without thinking, she found herself offering the apple to the little guy. The hand grabbed it hungrily.

Clutching the priceless treasure, the kid slunk away as quietly as he had emerged. With the half-eaten apple.

Which is better?

“Which is better—the book or the film?” I was asked. Not having compared the two before, I replied on the spur of the moment….. “the film.” The question set the thinking wheels in motion though. What is there to compare between Q&A by Vikas Swarup and Slumdog Millionaire by Danny Boyle? Both are different entities altogether. Yes, Jamal participates in a game show and wins pots of money but that’s just about one of the few things common between the book and the film.
It would be wrong to say that Danny Boyle’s film is based on Q&A. The film takes off on its own after borrowing the slumboy-wins-on-game show idea from the book. Here are some of the few (just a few) stark differences between the film and the book.
● To begin with, there is a proper logic in the book of how Jamal (Ram Mohammad Thomas in the book) becomes fluent in English and uses it to his advantage.
● Jamal and Salim aren’t brothers in the book. They are both orphans who meet in Delhi and become best friends
● They don’t remain together throughout their childhood. In fact, Jamal has most of the adventures (through which he is able to answer the questions on the show) alone.
● He doesn’t meet Latika (Nita in the book) till he is eighteen years old.
● Latika is a prostitute in the book. She doesn’t disappear from Jamal’s life even once (contrary to the film where she keeps vanishing now and then)
● Salim has no interest in Latika whatsoever. They don’t even meet.
● The cops arrest Jamal not because they are suspicious of him cheating on the show, but because the producers of the show don’t have the prize money to hand over to Jamal. So they ask the cops to pressure Jamal into admitting that he cheated.
● He doesn’t work in any call center.
● The anchor of the game show has a past association with Latika.
● It is because of this link that Jamal takes part in the show and not to win money or find love or Latika. It is to take revenge.
● Swarup admits that its dumb luck that helps Jamal win the game show, whereas the film takes the destiny route.

The list is endless…..I fail to understand why Q&A has been republished as Slumdog Millionaire because there is no answer to “which is better.”
Q&A is not Slumdog Millionaire. One is a cinematic treat the other a literary one….

A narrow escape

Bye…dis z my last nite.…cnt take it nemore…take care of yourself…was the SMS sent to A from her friend whom we will call B. A got the message at 12:04 am and all hell broke loose.
Flashback. A and B have been friends for the past three years. They met in Delhi at a private media school and lived in the same hostel. By a stroke of destiny, they left the place within the first month. A to join one of the best media schools in the country to which she got admitted later, B to her home state to start afresh (the private media school was a farce). So, A and B knew each other just 15 days or so. But they kept in touch over the years.
A went on to top her media school, got placed on Day Zero of the placements, got the highest pay packets offered on campus and set out to embark on her new life and her first job. B stayed at home, squealing happily over the phone whenever A, sometimes a little immodestly, told her about her achievements. Time passed. A found love, happiness and contentment.
Soon, she moved to a new city to further her adventure called life. Though they spoke to each other only once a month, they kept in touch. Rather, B kept in touch.
One day, B called A and started crying. A and B were never close. Not close enough to cry on each other’s shoulders. A was taken by surprise but chose to just listen as B updated her on those lost years. The three years through which A went on to achieve success and glory. Each day had been a pain, B told A. Sobbing, B told A of the mental and emotional abuse she had been undergoing for the past three years. She was living as a servant in her home serving her own family. No outlet, no money, no happiness, no love. B told A how her own mother abuses her. She left A distraught and shaken.
Things A had taken for granted all these years—financial independence, a job to go to, family support, unconditional love—suddenly became prized possessions. A vowed, a little too late for her liking, to rescue B.
But before she could do anything, she got the SMS from B. So what did A do on getting the SMS? Called B coaxing her not to take any such step? Wrong. Sure, A’s fingers started to reply but suddenly from somewhere, a fear clutched at her heart. An inexplicable fear of the aftermath. The rest of the night passed in trepidation and guilt.
The next day, A kept on calling B but her phone was switched off and her guilt grew. Finally, she got a message from B saying she was down but fine. She was fine. A felt she had been given a new life, a new chance to redeem herself.
To do justice to B……

The answer is option D………..It’s written

Saw Slumdog Millionaire a few days back. The fact that I got to watch it before it released in India (thanks to Suriji) added to the excitement. Okay, the verdict: It’s an extraordinary film. A word of caution though: The film has some really gory scenes. If you are the sort of person who likes to see the world through rose-tinted spectacles, then this will make your insides curl. Nothing is gift-wrapped here. It’s stark and honest and in your face. No mollycoddling. From an adult Jamal Malik (impressive work by Dev Patel) being given electric shocks in the lock up (on suspicion of cheating on Who wants to be a millionaire) to almost getting his eyes ‘spooned’ out as a child beggar, the film is as real as it gets.
Nothing is left out here. There is the child begging racket (brilliant work by an orphaned Jamal, his brother Salim and the love of Jamal’s life, Latika, as street beggars), communal riots (Jamal’s mother is burnt to death in front of his eyes), fan worshipping in India (a small Jamal actually jumps in a shit-hole to get Amitabh Bachchan’s autograph), prostitution (teenaged Jamal and Salim rescue a ‘virgin’ Latika enmeshed in the racket), gang lords (Salim becomes Mahesh Manjrekar’s protégé) and the call center culture (where Jamul is a chaiwala). There are a myriad of emotions.
Contrary to expectations though, Anil Kapoor (the host on Who wants to be a millionaire) has a very puny part to play, which he nevertheless, plays convincingly. The crux of the story though are the questions posed before Jamul on the game show. As each questions unfolds, Jamal removes a layer from his life. Each question posed before him has an uncanny significance in his life. For example, one of the questions: Who wrote the song Darshan do ganshyam? takes him back to the time when he along with a hundred other children would practice singing the same song at night to beg at traffic lights the next day.
Danny Boyle (director) and Loveleen Tandon (director for India) do a splendid job. A special mention must be made for all the child actors in the film. They set the tone for things to follow. The child actor playing Jamal is a real treat to watch and gives an endearing performance.
An honest film, made honestly sans any pretensions. The best part: It makes one want to read the book it’s made on, Q&A by Vikas Swarup.

Because he scores again

'Punjab power, lighting up your life ji'

I am not sure but I have a strong suspicion that Aditya Chopra, who in the first place created them in DDLJ, set out to depedestal the Rajs and the Rahuls from their throne with the creation of Suriji.
Because Suriji lights up the screen. Because he is endearing. Because he is a geek. Because he reinforces the belief of the common, middle-class working man. Because I had a constant smile on my face during the first half of Rab Ne...Because SRK scores again with Suriji. Because you never once miss the Rajs and the Rahuls amid Suriji's histrionics.
Suriji is the find of the decade. He comes to claim his rightful place left by Amol Palekar. The common, stuttering man who wins in the end. Not by flexing his muscles or getting a makeover but by his sheer warmth and charm.
Let's overlook the faults which are aplenty. Because Suriji overshadows everything. Here's to his yellow tiffin, rolled up trousers, loose white shirt, nerdy hair style and to him. For having the guts to be Suriji.